Ok. I am sitting at work (obviously feeling unproductive) and thought about puns. Those of you who know me know how normal that is. I was also thinking about a way to encourage more interaction on the blog. So here is what I came up with:
Post your favorite Puns!
By the way, if you don't know what a pun is:
"a word play suggesting, with humorous intent, the different meanings of one word or the use of two or more words similar in sound but different in meaning"
To get you started, here is mine:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ....
(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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5 comments:
Here's my addition:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $33,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $33,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny, pink, porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?" So the bank manager looks back at her and says:
"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Owning a new pet fish
Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.
Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?
Mary Poppins visiting
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.
The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.
"Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book.
We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"
One night, the Potato Mother was surprised by her daughter. Midway through their meal, the daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."
"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her daughter's eyes.
"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud grin, "I'm getting married!"
Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying?"
"I'm marrying Brit Hume!"
"Brit Hume?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
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